August 29, 2013

family history

when i go visit my parents' house,
i always dig up something interesting out of their closets or attic.

my grandma who lived with my parents passed away last year.
there's this buddhist altar that she took care of for the longest time at my parents',
but now she's gone, nobody in my family really cares about it.

i visited my parents a few weeks ago, my grandma's altar was there as usual,
i was bored so i sat in front of it and kept looking at it.
and then, i noticed that there was a drawer attached to it.
i curiously opened it, and there was a tin cookie box sitting there.
i pulled it out and took it to the drawing room where the big table and full of sunlight were at.

i sat down, put the box on the table,
carefully lifted up the rid,
and found a bunch of old photos in the box,
my grandpa's photos.

i've never actually met my grandpa since he died of cancer way before i was born,
and i only have seen one photo of him, once.
i guess my grandma wanted to kept the memories away and tried to hide them,
since nobody in my family knew where my grandpa's photos were at.

i thoroughly looked at every single photo,
mostly taken during the WWII,
when my great-grandma and great-grandpa lost everything and ruined my grandpa's career, 
when the time it was really fragile, chaotic, and pretty much brain-washed.
if i try to talk about it more, i guess it just sounds so shallow so i'd better shut up now.

i remembered that somebody told me my grandpa went to Papua New Guinea or somewhere during the war,
and i found photos of the country with natives,
maybe a photo set as a souvenir that my grandpa bought when he was there,
i found Papuan naked lady photos too, for maybe sexual eye pleasure?
little disturbing to figure out the reason.

when i finished looking at all the photos,
i thought i should tell my family what i just found,
but i put all those photos back in the tin box and put it back in the drawer.
i think it'd be little exciting to have this nobody-knows kind of secret,
plus, i guess my grandma wanted to keep it as a secret.
or maybe she just forgotten where she placed it, ah, nobody knows.