December 2, 2011

jumping off


i don't know him but he was living in the biggest room on the top of my building,
he was a kind of guy who carries around a fake plastic sward around his waist. and so on.
my neighbors, including me, thought he was crazy.
a few weeks ago, he jumped off from the top of my building.
maybe the story he had in his mind was supposed to keep continue,
maybe with his flying skill, maybe a little bit of thrill,
but there was a pond of blood and death on the ground. the end.
did he know that there was the end? physical death?
or did he know what is going to happen when his body hits the ground?
the end???

there are so many wonders and wonders and wonders and wonders
oh humans, humans.
humanity, humanity.

理解してもらっちゃおうかな!かなかなかな!!!!なんて考えたのが間違いだったなぁ

November 28, 2011

mutual


前ポストから引き続きあれなんですが
人との出会いと繋がりに助けられたこの一年なんだなぁ

でもあたしったら〜
実はとても臆病なのよ
出会いと交流の中で他人様からどう思われてるのかしらんと
とても気にしてしまうあたしがいるのよ
そして他人様は今どう感じているのかと
模索してしまうあたしがいるのよ
他人様の感情の上に這いつくばってトレースしようとしてるのが
あたしなのよ

浅はかさや、本音、本質を見極めようと
他人様の体内をモヤモヤと流れる感情の
オブザベーションを重ねる日々

理解できない他人様のモヤモヤに
憑依するように吸い付いて
自分の経験、自分の持ってる感情を尺にして計って
理解した気分になっているあたし
いやはや結局は独断のみなのよ
完全なる相互理解というのは
なんざましょなんざましょ

そんなこんなで
取り繕うあたしやら
善人やら変態やら
サイコパスやら模倣ばかり繰り返す人やら
内に何を秘めてるのかしら
あたしは完全にそれを知ることができるのかしら
こんなモヤモヤした人間様達生き物達
おもしろいじゃな〜い
いやまじあたしは愛を持ってもっと知りたいのよ〜

そんなこんなで
今後はもっとインタラクティブな写真や催しやプロジェクトを
行っていきたいなぁと思ってますぞ〜!!!!

November 26, 2011

a month left


yosuke, chihi, yuki, ian, pat, mari, tomo

2011 has been such a crazy year,
i quit my job,
became jobless during summer but it was too amazing to have a plenty of time just for my self,
met new friends and they became my best friends,
my favorite amazing human beings Ian and Yuki got married,
i got a new fun job,
Pat got an awesome prize, also NGS is amazingly totally making it,
my friends' exhibitions are coming up,
my sister is preggy again now and her new baby's birthday will be the same as her,
etc, etc,

only a month left but this year has been too great for me too,
thank you so much everyone and i love you guys all (oh cheesiness)!
and congrats!

いやぁ今年は素晴らしい年だったなぁ
まだあと一ヶ月あるけどもうなんか天気いいしね
生ぬるい海水の中で昆布に絡まってしまいたいなぁ
オレ、ヌメヌメ系大好きなんだよね〜

::プレゼントのお知らせ、日本限定だァ!
さて、先日名古屋用にポスタージンを作ったのですが
雑に出来上がってしまい、いやまじこれは不名誉な出来、
売り物にするにも大変申し訳なく処分してしまおうと思ったのですが
やはりもったいないお!!というわけで
そのポスタージンほしいお!!と思った方、先着5名様に無料で差し上げようと思います。
info at marikojima dot comまでご連絡くださいませ。

そして、欲しいお!メールを送付頂く際に、
もしよろしければ、長くなっても一行でも一言でもいいので、
何でもいいのでコメントをください!
(そして、そのコメント、このブログでアップさせていただきます〜)

どうぞよろしくお願いいたしまっす

November 14, 2011

erased memories

i just keep forgetting.

----------------
i'll be selling my new 8-page zine/A3 poster at Aichi University of fine art and music with Stomachache, Nanook, Yamada, Delicates(decayxodus&Nicholas Kenji) on 11/19 and 11/20.
if you are around there, come stop by:)
→more details

11/19と11/20に、愛知県立芸術大学にてstomachacheのともえちゃんNANOOK、YAMADA、富山からDELICATESDecayxodus&ニコラスケンジさん)とブースを出します!私はポスターかジン的な何かを多分限定で20〜30部位販売いたします。是非お越し下さいまし〜
→詳細はこちらから。

October 18, 2011

sunday routine


it was so nice outside yesterday so my friends and i decided to go to inogashira-park,
we had tasty sandwich there and talking really dirty as usual.

on the way back home, we realized that we forgot to play badminton even though we had rackets and everything ready. it was still light out, and also we found a nice parking lot outside of this catholic church, so we stopped there to see if we could play that mama there.
the church was open for sunday service, so we just randomly decided to go inside and pray instead of playing badminton, pretty much to just have fun(more like to make fun of it, sorry....), since we all love bad religious jokes.

we went in, dipped our fingers in holy water, sat down and acted as we were praying,
but i was actually thinking about buying 1 big avocado instead of getting 3 small ones for dinner.


we felt uncomfortable so we left, and decided to go to one of our friend's house nearby.
when we arrived there, there was a big tube of lubricant for sexy purpose sitting on the table,
so i just squeezed it out on my hand and started playing with it.
and then i just realized that i've just got purified by holy water. oh humans.

by the way i'm going to nagoya next month with the crew. psyched!

e.g.


nookdoug and gakkun

these days i hang out with my friend's brother's friends, they are young and still in college.

last week, a bunch of us(we are all around 30s) and this cute young college kid(still 20-ish) spent all night playing jenga, didn't sleep at all and went to eat some noodles for breakfast.

it was so nice out that day, so we decided not to waste a day even though we didn't sleep at all.

we started walking around the outside of this zoo by inogashira-park, but we couldn't decide either we get in to the zoo or not so we were just aimlessly walking around for an hour,
i suggested to go see eagles and owls at this nature-loving kind of cafe by the park but i, as the leader, totally went to the wrong direction and we were lost(i really have no sense of direction),
we got all so tired, but we had to go poo poo so bad so went to the department store to use the cleaner bathroom.
after dropping some pounds off, we sat on the couch in front of the bathroom not being able to decide what we are gonna do.
the college kid was just sitting there with us giving us a hopeless look. my friend asked him if he wants to be like us in like 10 years, he just answered ummm.

October 17, 2011

business trip


now i have a new job, many business trips and hotel-stays.
by the way, all i want to eat these days is deep fried chicken. delicious ones.

say hello to new... #2

it took a while to get to this point.
there was such a mess that i can't even recollect the fragments of it.
it exactly felt like being controlled by a phychopath,
walking on the path that's drawn by this person,
i just react or do the way this person would totally expect,
while knowing the fact that i'm just a will-less person.
i wanted to let it go but kept holding on to it to see a little possibility.
it was a big obsession.
this was the perfect controlled-by-other's-ego process that i went through.
stupidity.

i was out of my apartment for 3 days for a business trip.
when i got back home, one of my fish were missing. a little tiny one.

after i found his little tiny bones blending in to a debris on a filter,
it didn't take that long to realize that the little one was eaten by the big ones in a tank since they were so hungry.
i fed them ok before i left, but my friend told me that fish can't stuff themselves with so much food once so that they can go without eating for a while.

big fish, tiny fish, domesticated,
they were all good together in a little tank society,
but once something is missing, something that they need to keep their lives going,
they will change. no moral there but just instinct, and it's not that beautiful and clean as i imagine.

and i just realized i was just there to give, sacrifice myself.

continues.

say hello to new...

it was like pinching your skin while getting a big shot
so that you can forget the pain that you actually get from the shot.
but in the end you just realize it didn't make the situation any better,
you just end up staring at your red pinched skin with your nail mark left on
with your other arm swollen and bleeding by the shot,
yes there's this new pain that you created and you have to stand.

continues.

October 15, 2011

absorbing


my awesome friend and also a amazingly talented writer Nagisa gave me this book called "life after god" by Douglas Coupland, and i've been reading it when i get on the train to go to work. only a little by little though, so that i can keep this precious time with this book longer. all the chapters in the book, i can connect to my experience, what happened to me and what i've been actually building up in my life.

"...And we're changed souls; we don't look at things the same way anymore. for there was once a time we expected the worst. but then the worst happened, did it not? and so we will never be surprised ever again."

October 5, 2011

2 points


i know the fact that if i completely become honest about how i feel or how i think, i'd lose many things, honesty is brutally real and such a scary thing sometimes. i usually try to stand in a neutral position so that i don't have to show off my stupidity, or i just hate (or i'm just scared) to be judged that i'm so wrong.

all i wanted was stability that i could completely believe in, but i have no control over anything really, and my ego just keeps bringing so much frustration in my damn life.

September 23, 2011

finally over


my long, really looong vacation, which was fun and depressing at the same time is ending in 3 days. wee.

September 20, 2011

o



playful 27 right there.

little belated but,
yuki-chan and ian, congrats!
and, nagisa-chan, yamada, nanook, kengo, aope, happy birthday!

September 15, 2011

nanook's attempt



really early in the morning, after the typhoon, many dead jelly fish all around on the beach, unrecognisable debris we picked up, sticky dirty wind just made us tired.

i thought it would be the last time to visit this dirty stinky beach for 2011 and felt a little bit melancholic, but then a few days later my ex-boss took me out for my birthday dinner to Red Lobster right next to the beach we played around.

and lobsters were tasty tasty.

August 25, 2011

new event



8/27(土)に、高円寺ASOKOにて不幸の科学プレゼンツ『おサイエンスクラブ』を開催いたします。

16:00〜17:30は開発君がホストとなり、おしっこカクテル+オリジナルチャーシューパンという最強バリューセット「開発くん×篠沢のほろ酔いセット」を販売!そして、tokyo art book fairで大人気だったあのおしっこチームのMANGETRYや昇天寺などなども販売予定とのこと!そして、新作のカバンもお披露目ですって!

そして、私は19:00頃からお店に立ちます!
ナヌーク、なぎさちゃん、ティッツナオコ、ケンゴと組んで、ドライアイスの煙が君の体を這うように漂う中、ブラックライト所謂あの暗黒の光が容赦なく降り注ぐマッドサイエンティストナイトを演出いたします。

今まで肉眼では見ることができなかった、君にまとわりつくミクロの野郎達を顕微鏡を駆使して眺めてみたり、ご希望があれば、君のお顔と君の好きなアノ子のお顔を合成しちゃったりする予定です。

そして、マッドサイエンティストのお品書きは下記の通り

・おケミカルC 300円 
ブラックライトのもと光るアルコール飲料だ!

・たつろう 100円
ウォッカやジンベースのほぼお酒が原料という一口ゼリーだ。アルコール度数高めだ!

・ファラフェル 350円
厳しい研究の末誕生したひよこ豆のコロッケ+サワークラウト(酢漬けキャベツ)+ヨーグルトソースが入った美味しいサンドだ。ベジタリアンの皆様にもぴったりの一品だ!

・ウーパールーパー 500円
マッドサイエンティスト特製スペシャルドリンクだ。とりあえずカーっとくるんだ!病み付きだ!

※また、大変恐縮ですが、ASOKOは入場チャージの300円をいただいています。

夏最後の思い出作りに、高円寺の阿波踊りの帰り道に、
皆様どうぞお気軽にお越し下さいませ!

それでは、お会いできるのを楽しみにしております!!


AsokoへのMap: http://map.hatena.ne.jp/?x=139.6480&y=35.7084&z=4

=============

this Saturday on 27th, we are gonna have this event called "O-science Club" at ASOKO in Koenji.

i'll dress up as a mad scientist with my awesome crew.
we'll serve you with farafel wraps and jello-shots and crazy cocktails.

Here's the time table...

*Entrance Charge 300Yen

16:00~17:30
Kaihatsu-kun & Shinozawa Kouichi's Horoyoi meal set time
they will be selling their zines and bags as well!
http://csccac.exblog.jp/

18:00-24:00??
Mad Scientice Mari Kojima's room
http://www.marikojima.com/
I'll gang up with Nanook, Nagisa, Tits Naoko, Kengo!

It'll be fun, please come stop by:)


ASOKO: http://d.hatena.ne.jp/sajonpork/
Map: http://map.hatena.ne.jp/?x=139.6480&y=35.7084&z=4

August 6, 2011

trip

i'm on a trip back to my hometown, will be back in tokyo on 8/12.
see you soon.

July 13, 2011

print set for sale

i'll be selling my print set at tokyo art book fair from 7/16 to 7/18. those sets soon will be up on bathysphere books shop as well.
if you have any questions, please feel free to email me :)

"bird flu" print set
7 silver halide prints in an envelope
limited edition of 10 (each print has edition number & signature)
print size: 198mm x 296mm

今週末、7月16日から18日にかけて行われるtokyo art book fairにて封筒に入ったプリントセットを販売いたします。不幸の科学ブースまで是非お越し下さいませ。
後日、Bathysphere Booksでも販売予定です。
質問等ございましたら、メールにてご連絡ください。


“バードフルー”封筒入りプリントセット
銀塩プリント7枚入り
10エディション限定(各プリント、エディションナンバー&サイン入り)
プリントサイズ:198mm x 296mm



About the edition number and signature
*if any of those images from the photo list above get printed with a different printer/ink/size/paper and have a different finish, they might get numbered as a new edition.
*each photos are numbered and signed at the right bottom on the back of the print.

作品のエディションナンバーとサインについて
*上記と同一写真であっても、サイズ、インク、ペーパー、プリンター等新たな組み合わせで制作され、仕上がりが異なる作品につきましては、新規にエディションナンバーがふられることがあります。
*プリントは品質を確認した後、エディションナンバー、サイン等をプリント裏側の右下に記しています。

June 21, 2011

55

i keep random notes and quotes on my phone,
it's so insanely random and sometimes i really don't understand what i meant.

"regretting not putting any make-up on
rice anal
from 3pm on wednesday
if he gets along with his mom
at exhibition"

June 14, 2011

hear it all

today i heard this story from the person that i'm really close to,
about this family, who are really close to us, a part of our family now.

i won't really write this story specifically or directly naming who is who, but just blurry,
it might feel annoying and confusing, or you might figure it all out, but yeah,
not right after they got married but after the earthquake,
i met his mom and grandma for the first time since they had to escape from the town that was destroyed by tsunami and radiation.

his grandma(his mom's mom) can't really hear anything anymore,
she's about 90 years old, so his mom and grandma were communicating by using body gesture or writing on the notebook, which looked really graceful.
i guessed that they've been talking like that from not that long ago, and i was really surprised that they were so used to it.

but today, i was talking to this person,
and she told me all the stories that i didn't really have to know, i guess.

the story goes;

his grandma used to own and run this ryokan (Japanese-style hotel),
but when she was about 20 years old, this crazy guest staying at her hotel beat her up with an iron bar for no reason, and this psycho hit her head really hard... she became deaf since then.

after that happened, her life kept on, she got married and gave a birth to her daughter(his mom), so she's never heard her daughter's voice.

the way they communicate, their made-up gesture and sometimes writing in the notebook, that was actually the way that they've been using since they became a family, mom and daughter. especially their gesture, it seems like a really special, mysterious way to communicate that nobody really understands, but that is actually their normal, usual way to understand each other that naturally occurred while her daughter was growing up.

after i heard that fact, i thought i saw some special, hidden culture that's been built up without nobody knowing it, which feels like discovering the whole new country with native citizens living in that no one knew about in the middle of nowhere, and i thought it was kind of magical.

June 3, 2011

follow me i'm smiling

started public twitter @ mamorikija
weeee

i wanna write some story but too sleepy,
3:30AM now, night night,
tomorrow(actually today) is the day that i've been looking forward to.
miss awesome NGS! big fish! 500oz of blood! licking black ink!
milking cows in my dream!!

May 31, 2011

pretty in pink

things look like this and that sometimes.
floral fatty if you know what i'm talking about.

May 26, 2011

3 legged

this should be that,
that is so wrong and that should be this way,
controlling is the way to achieve,
makes your dreamy tasty world come closer

May 24, 2011

arabian coffee

that night,
i met this girl who is really amazingly smart,
she's just really really amazing,
meeting her really felt like falling-in-love at first sight,
and i thought about this old silly song,
arabian monk told this guy who forgot loooove to drink coffee,
and he did for the first time,
and then he starts tripping and hitting on some young girl.
oh total trance, boiiiiiiii.

May 19, 2011

matching

about this person,
i really don't know what that is,
but maybe because of the strict religious surroundings,
something totally opposite grew out of it.
ya.

May 18, 2011

looking into the hole

i left my work and i wanted to have some rest for a little bit,
but thinking about money and other things just making me feel rushed.

there was this murder in my town when i was little,
5 year old kid got killed by his dad, and his dad killed himself after that.
when that happened, i was the same age as the kid who got killed.

at that time, obviously i didn't really know what was going on,
too little to understand the whole situation.
his dad was running a Christian kindergarten in our town,
but it got closed down right after the murder happened.

i was in pre-school before i entered the first grade,
and many kids transferred to my preschool because of that.
i bet the adults around us didn't really know how to react to or explain the situation,
and i remembered it was just awkward just not knowing any facts as a kid.

when i was in 3rd grade, me and my friends were playing and walking through the town,
and 2 of my friends stopped right in front of this closed building with a playground behind.
we entered (we were punks as a 3rd grade) and started playing,
and then those friends told me that they used to go to this place,
since it was actually a kindergarten before, and they told me the reason why it got closed down.
even though the actual murder didn't happen in the building,
i got really scared, i felt that i've never got so close to any places that had such a dark history behind,
but my friends were just playing like nothing happened,
the place was just a part of their memory as a "fun place" they used to go to,
but for me, the place suddenly became something else, something dark and scary.

as i grew up, i occasionally thought about the incident,
what really happened,
also thought about the worst scenario as well,
just naming things that might've been involved that i can think of,
madness, cruelty, beliefs and religion, stress, psycho, hate, love, incest, etc.

for something that didn't really involve me directly,
i just live off the image yet not knowing any facts,
and some mediocre thoughts just grow and grow.

last night, i told my boyfriend about the murder after we talked about some book
since the story reminded me of the incident.

and then this morning while i was sleeping,
i felt something on my leg, it felt like a little kid crawling up on my body,
and suddenly i couldn't move or say anything.
sleep paralysis.

it happens to me when my body is tired,
but maybe my curiosity, and talking about the incident loud was too much led it to it,
i felt weird, but wasn't scared anymore.
people do still remember what happened,
some people remember it as a horrible murder that they really don't want to be close to,
but i know some people remember the kid, the place, maybe his dad, as their warm memory,
like my friends, who didn't get scared at all when we were standing in the shadow of the closed building.