May 2, 2011
more photos and the details will be up soon.
recently i faced some problem,
got woken up by my important friends,
and found the way to let the bad routine go finally.
what i have now that are important(my friends, the fought one yet i strongly love, my family, etc) won't be changed,
but how i see things is now little different, maybe.
while many things were happening,
i was actually walking through the new path. a little one,
which i really didn't tell anybody. i kept it as a secret.
i really didn't want to be judged or hated for what i was starting to see.
i guess people do try to keep a little secrets,
for their friendship,
for their family,
for their relationship,
for their work, etc, etc,
maybe they try to keep it for their ego or pride or shame,
for protecting themselves.
the reason i kept a secret was for my ego, and maybe i was also really, really ashamed,
so kept the things hidden.
maybe i have this nice, harmless, good image that i want people to see in me.
but, where is real me.
honestly, i was darker than what i thought, really childish and needy than what i thought,
i was more coward than what i thought.
such a cheesy thing but,
i was like this, but,
i guess i found something that totally sparked in my mind,
it was really a full of pureness.
i'm at this moment that my life is totally changing,
but when i faced this pureness, pure pure blood that i haven't really seen for a while,
which was totally unexpected,
and i can take it luckily, but i'm too ashamed to be judged,
and i also, maybe, secretly care too much about my future to be brighter,
having more money in my wallet a.k.a bank account,
finding the right stable man to get married, etc, etc,
and all the thoughts got tangled up in my head.
unstable+reckless vs moral+safety
what do i really need in my life?
i've started taking photos from slightly different angles since i saw the new thing.
maybe in a good way.
oh, good stuff tightly zipped in a secret.
but i guess it's time to release what i'm trying to start now,
and reveal what i'm happy about now.
sorry all the things i just wrote doesn't make any sense and is really abstract.
新しいシリーズ、「keep it as a total secret」という